Leah Buletti – Citizen-Times – FLETCHER – Two years since the arrest of her ex-husband who beat her so severely she was unrecognizable, and two months after authorities convicted him on attempted murder, Erin Schalow stood up and took the microphone in a brightly lit town hall about domestic violence.
She came to ask how she could help other people suffering like she was, how she could give back to the organizations that helped pull her from physical abuse so unfathomable it left her hospitalized for more than a month.
“The one thing that kept me in that relationship so long was I didn’t know help was really available,” Schalow said after a forum Thursday night at the WNC Agricultural Center hosted by WLOS News 13. “I really didn’t believe that he would actually get arrested or that I could really be safe. I want people to know you can be safe.”
Schalow’s ex-husband, Leonard Schalow, was convicted in Henderson County Superior Court in November of attempted first-degree murder for repeated abuse that happened from December 2013 through February 2014, often multiple times a day and with their 10-year-old son in the adjoining room, District Attorney Greg Newman said. It was the worst case of domestic abuse Newman said he has seen in 25 years of practicing law.
People asked at the forum how Buncombe County is working to combat domestic violence and how the new Family Justice Center, set to open July 1, will change and improve services.
The panelists included April Burgess-Johnson, executive director of Helpmate, Sgt. Dottie Parker of the Henderson County Sheriff’s Office, Julie Klipp Nicholson, coordinator of the Family Justice Center, and Sara Hardesty, a domestic violence survivor.
They stressed that domestic violence can be prevented through strong family relationships and support, and also that domestic violence strikes all types of families and in all types of homes. “A lot of people think it’s only with our lower income families and that’ s not the case at all,” Parker said.
The Dec. 11 shooting of Timothy Fry, a longtime WLOS employee, in an Arden home is the first-domestic violence slaying in two years, according to Burgess-Johnson. In 2013, Buncombe County had eight domestic violence killings, but that number plummeted to zero in 2014.
In Buncombe County between 2013 and 2014, 2,395 calls for law enforcement about domestic violence were made. Further, 1,363 sought help with law enforcement face to face.
In sharing her story of abuse, Hardesty said not having family support close by because she was living in Colorado increased her isolation.
“It was very obvious there was a problem, my neighbors were concerned. I just did not know how to get out,” she said.
Panelists also addressed how to combat domestic violence among teens and the challenges of privacy and safety in a world dominated by social media where bullying can often go unchecked.
Parker said domestic violence is becoming more prevalent in high school relationships, and said she believes strong family and strong faith is the way to combat the problem.
“Unfortunately, children see almost everything,” Parker said, and then often act out the behavior they have observed in their home.
“When they want to be involved sexually, they think they can get what they want,” she said of children who grow up observing violence and abusive relationships.
Helpmate’s shelter has 20 beds and will expand to 40 beds with the Family Justice Center, which will house representatives from law enforcement, the court system, county health and human services and nonprofit advocacy groups under the same roof to help survivors. Helpmate shelters 200 people per year, serves 2,300 per year, and fields more than 3,200 crisis calls per year, which Burgess-Johnson said is a 156 percent increase over two years, something she attributes to a coordinated community response.
“With domestic and sexual violence, the only way it gains its strength is by being quiet, silent or hidden,” said Ronald Gates, pastor of Greater Works Church of God in Christ, who attended the forum. “When it becomes a forum like this and more education, people begin to understand that there’s things taking place. Now the light is on it.”
For more information about domestic violence services in Buncombe County, visit www.helpmateonline.org or www.ourvoicenc.org.
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